in the ether


I went to the Mexican restaurant where you and I ate dinner together last month

remember we went as friends

I left my Mother’s side and pretended to visit the ladies room just so I could walk by the empty table where we sat together that night

I ran my hand across the chair you sat in and I touched you in the ether

just once you would be my forbidden fruit if only you would let me

I could give in and let me

please if you love me don’t let me

you say to me “I will break your heart.” I say “I know.”

I bore you when you don’t get what you want and then you smile and I yearn in secret places

you tell me that you’re not emotionally available and ask me if I want you to make it easy on me

I know what that means or I should know what that means

I say “Yes, make it easy on me” but that only makes me want you more

and I know you know it

I climb the ladder to the loft when you’re gone just to see what little piece of you remains

the twin mattress on the floor

a grape Popsicle stick stuck to the carpet

I take in the remnants of your energy ever so slowly fading away

so clean

so clear

So male

I give you up every time you leave

I take you back in the same moment but you don’t know it ‘cause you’re not there

you won’t be bothered

you’re like the wind

I would never seek to change you

I love you as you are

an unconsummated desire

my brother

my Friend




And I the dove will fly in the rain

and I the dove will stand in the rain


And you the rain will come and go as you please

and you do

come and go as you please

and would you please

come and go as you please

for if you do

come and go as you please

I will become the rain

and you will know how it feels

to be the dove again




I would climb the most pleasant branches of your tree

But not without permission

I would forsake my breath to dive into your deepest depths

But not without permission

I would follow you to the end of the earth

then past the sun and the moon and the stars in the heavens

But not without permission





When you were born in this generation

your parents named you well

but I saw you standing naked by the kitchen sink

so I gazed upon your perfect form

and in the blinking of an eye I could tell

to me you will be Adam

though others have entered my gates and doors and halls before you

you have become the first and last

a man created from earth and dust

yet never surpassed in this world





I’m blooming in your golden light

my tightly folded petals will only open for you

I tell the truth

my fragrance in the morning dew

is only meant for you

the nectar I am drowning in

is pleasure when it flows from you

now and forever

I am reaching toward your golden light

because you saved me from the longest night




How long must I wait for thee

my husband

and my lord

for I know that you want Rachael

and I am only Leah

move your great hand toward me

and decree

my entrance into your bedchamber

for I know that you want Rachael

and I am only Leah

I rose up in the morning light to bathe in your crystal spring

and am clothed in finest linen

now my husband and my lord may I anoint thy feet in myrr and cinnamon

to walk barefoot through my fertile fields prepared for seeds of flax and hyssop

for I know that you want Rachael

and I am only Leah





Here am I

slain by your beauty

slay me and slay me again

here am I

finished in your blue sea

end me and end me again

here am I

ruined by your laughter

ruin me and ruin me again

here am I

wrecked in your wake

wreck me and wreck me again

here am I

forever slain

forever finished

forever ended

forever ruined

wrecked by your beauty

slay me and slay me again




You cry in my presence

it’s medicine

then you insist on putting oil in my truck

it’s medicine

you ask if you can come home with me

it’s medicine

three days later you drop into oblivion

don’t worry my love

it’s medicine

you show up at my door like a tomcat

I watch you sleep for day’s

and the life returns to your body

it’s medicine

how could I miss it

an anvil in the hands of my God

here to split my heart in two

don’t worry my love

it’s medicine




And if I be a prophet

He that is in me is greater

He outwits outlasts and outplays you

He out-night and out-days you

He had you from the beginning

He numbered your days I hear your time running out

can you hear your time running out

away with you

and if I be a prophet

it doesn’t matter what I do

it matters what He’s done

I know this to be true and factual

but your used to fake unreal and un-actual

untrue and unnatural

the earth is in his hands

and you will not rip it out

He is Majesty

He is Greater

and if I be a prophet

of Him there can be no doubt



You’re gone

strawberry bursts in my mouth

you are not mine

heaven’s fragrant fruit blossoms on my head

and runs down my hair

you don’t know cause you don’t care

my love has it been days

or minutes

has it been heartbeats or years

if it feels so cruel

why are there no tears

the hawk is back

it has a mate

I spend the day watching them build their nest

a little coffee

I roll a smoke

Reggae got me thinking on Jah

Reggae got me thinking on you

chocolate melts in my mouth

I hear your honey voice and strawberry bursts