MY BROTHER MY FRIEND
I went to the Mexican restaurant where you and I ate dinner together
remember we went as friends
I left my Mother’s side and pretended to visit the ladies room just so I could walk by the empty table where we dined and spoke of our past and a future of good works still left to do
I ran my hand across the chair you sat in
and I touched you in the ether
just once you would be my forbidden fruit if only I would let me
I could give in and let me
please if you love me don’t let me
you say to me “I will break your heart.” I say “I know.”
I bore you when you don’t get what you want and then you smile and I yearn in secret places
you tell me that you’re not emotionally available and ask me if I want you to make it easy on me
I know what that means or I should know what that means
I say “Yes, make it easy on me” but that only makes me want you more
and I know you know it
I climb the ladder to the loft when you’re gone just to see what little piece of you remains
the twin mattress on the floor
a grape Popsicle stick stuck to the carpet
I take in the remnants of your energy ever so slowly fading away
so clean
so clear
So male
I give you up every time you leave
I take you back in the same moment but you don’t know it ‘cause you’re not there
you won’t be bothered
you’re like the wind
I would never seek to change you
I love you as you are
an unconsummated desire
my brother
my Friend
AND I THE DOVE
And I the dove will fly in the rain
and I the dove will stand in the rain
Waiting
And you the rain will come and go as you please
and you do
come and go as you please
and would you please
come and go as you please
for if you do
I will become the rain
and you will know how it feels
to be the dove again
NOT WITHOUT PERMISSION
I would climb the most pleasant branches of your tree
But not without permission
I would forsake my breath to dive into your deepest depths
But not without permission
I would follow you to the end of the earth
then past the sun and the moon and the stars in the heavens
But not without permission
ADAM
When you were born in this generation
your parents named you well
but I saw you standing naked by the kitchen sink
so I gazed upon your perfect form
and in the blinking of an eye I could tell
to me you will be Adam
though others have entered my gates and doors and halls before you
you have become the first and last
a man created from earth and dust
yet never surpassed in this world
THE LONGEST NIGHT
I’m blooming in your golden light
my tightly folded petals will only open for you
I tell the truth
my fragrance in the morning dew
is only meant for you
the nectar I am drowning in
is pleasure when it flows from you
now and forever
I am reaching toward your golden light
because you saved me from the longest night
ONLY LEAH
How long must I wait for thee
my husband
and my lord
for I know that you want Rachael
and I am only Leah
move your great hand toward me
and decree
my entrance into your bedchamber
for I know that you want Rachael
and I am only Leah
I rose up in the morning light to bathe in your crystal spring
and am clothed in finest linen
now my husband and my lord may I anoint thy feet with healing oils of myrr and cinnamon
to walk barefoot through my fertile fields prepared for seeds of flax and hyssop
for I know that you want Rachael
and I am only Leah
HERE AM I
Here am I slain by your beauty
slay me and slay me again
here am I finished in your blue sea
end me and end me again
here am I ruined by your laughter
ruin me and ruin me again
here am I wrecked in your wake
wreck me and wreck me again
here am I
forever slain
forever finished
forever ended
forever ruined
wrecked by your beauty
slay me and slay me again
MEDICINE
You cry in my presence
it’s medicine
then you insist on putting oil in my truck
it’s medicine
you ask if you can come home with me
it’s medicine
three days later you drop into oblivion
don’t worry my love
it’s medicine
you show up at my door like a tomcat
I watch you sleep for day’s
and the life returns to your body
it’s medicine
how could I miss it
an anvil in the hands of my God
here to split my heart in two
don’t worry my love
it’s medicine
IF I BE A PROPHET
And if I be a prophet
He that is in me is greater
He outwits outlasts and outplays you
He out-night and out-days you
He had you from the beginning
He numbered your days I hear your time running out
can you hear your time running out
away with you
and if I be a prophet
it doesn’t matter what I do
it matters what He’s done
I know this to be true and factual
but you are used to fake unreal and un-actual
untrue and unnatural
the earth is in his hands
and you will not rip it out
He is Majesty
He is Greater
and if I be a prophet
of Him there can be no denying and there can be no doubt
STRAWBERRY BURSTS
You’re gone
a love so strawberry sweet bursts in my mouth
you are not mine
heaven’s fragrant fruit blossoms on my head
and runs down my hair
you don’t know cause you don’t care
my love has it been days
or minutes
has it been heartbeats or years
if it feels so cruel
why are there no tears
the hawk is back
it has a mate
I spent the day watching them build their nest
a little coffee
I roll a smoke
Reggae got me thinking on Jah
Reggae got me thinking on you and so dem drums keep drumming
a revolutions on the rise
my love it’s been days and days now
too many heartbeats not to be years
but then the rapture comes in waves of ecstasy
I hear your honey voice
and a love so strawberry sweet bursts in my mouth
RECLAMATION ROAD
I went down Reclamation Road to pray for you
Reclamation Road where the white men killed the red men not so long ago
I got a prophets word
let nothing touch thy lips for seven hours
two nights later when you still hadn’t shown
I went down Reclamation Road with a beautiful red man
my new friend
our peace-pipe turned to glass
and cracked
we shattered the night into morning light
I went home alone
I slept for hours
then I got a prophets word
there will be no conviction for this rekindled addiction
now I have the right
to fast that witch in this fight
we know her
the inveterate white line whore that broken souls go running with
I told you we were old enemies from the start and she is a jealous lover
I spent the next day and night jonesing for her and I couldn’t get any relief
then I got a prophets vision
a vision of a healer in need of healing
a beautiful soul
an undiscovered man
our meeting not random but part of a plan
I told the Father before I met you
that I love to watch him work
in fact I told him time and time again
the mystery of how you entered my life starts to become ever clearer
when I consider His ways I am humbled
brought to my knees brought to tears
for together we are a prophet who won’t speak the word
until the angel comes down to touch the tongue with a coal of fire
and a healer who has given everything away
and can’t heal himself because that’s not how this works
my love
we are walking down the road to reclamation
a road paved with the blood of good men
covered by the blood of one man
this will come back around
I know I will see you again
I AM RUTH
I’m vulnerable
put your hand on my heart
I’m dying here
pray with me before you go
then love me enough
to let me go
for a while
or ever
I’m literally
dying
here
Alone
you will always have a million friends
but my love for you can’t get as small as you want it to be
I want everything
I am Ruth
the girl with pearls from an emerald green sea in her eyes
I’ll be no mans Leah
I will wait for Boaz
my husband and my lord
